Diary Of A Confined One
by DiamondGamer
Summary: Daisy isn't like the others. She can only find comfort in her most treasured item, her diary. Fem!Italy. GerIta. Angsty. Implied death.


Dear Diary,

I wish I had someone to play with me. Due to my condition, I can't go out and make any friends. I'm very sick, so I have to stay home. I don't know anybody my age.

Well, I do. It's a boy, a little older, that comes most of the time with his mom. Well, almost every day. But that's because they have to look after me. He's not my real friend.

We barely ever talk. He has stopped asking how my day was a long time ago. The answer would always be the same, after all. His job is to cook for me, make my bed, help me lay down or get up, ask me if I want anything from the grocery store if his mother was out. Just like maids do. Only princesses have maids, right?

He's not a maid, and I'm not a princess. He's too young for that anyway. And princesses can do whatever they want, including going out. playing with friends, playing dress-up, give money to poor strangers, and all of those exciting things! I can do none of those.

The boy came again today. As always. I decided to make him my friend! I asked about his name, which I didn't know yet. He said his name was Ludwig. What I've read in the books says that friendship starts with knowing one's name, and after that it's a magical adventure of finding other friends, doing things and just being together!Right?

I'm going to sleep now. Again. Sleep well, Diary!

* * *

Dear Diary,

Today I talked more with Ludwig. He's really a nice person! He has a loving mom and dad, and an annoying brother. I wonder how my sister is? I haven't seen her in a very long time. Whenever I ask my parents where she is, they would say she's in school. Is she in school for eternity? That's not nice at all! What if they keep her in there because she's just as sick as I am? That's sad and unfair!

I remembered something - Ludwig doesn't go to school. Or at least I don't think he does. He stays with me for a long time during the day. I tried to ask him about it, but he changed the subject. I hate it when people change the subject! My parents do that alot. What if I WANT to know what I've been asked? It's unfair!

Is friendship supposed to be like that? Only talking? He seems to avoid telling me so many things. Doesn't friendship mean telling each-other everything?

My parents came back home today. They hugged me, kissed me, read stories to me. They were so kind! Maybe they're my friends as well. But parents can't be my friends. They're parents! Right?

Unfortunately, they didn't stay for long. I was really sad when they left. Why do they never stay for at least a day with me? Are they that busy, or do they just want to be away from me? I understand it if they want to go away. They could get sick by being next to me...right?

Anyways, I'm going to sleep. You're so nice, Diary! I love how you listen to me. You might be my bestest friend in the world. Good night!

* * *

Dear Diary,

I asked Ludwig to read stories to me, just like mom and dad used to. He and his mom left the house, and came back with a bunch of books and a box of crayons. What were the crayons about? His mother just watched us and smiled. It was a pretty smile.

He told me to pick one of the stories. They looked so interesting! I noticed there were a few colouring books, as well as a few blank papers. I was very excited. Sometimes I would draw when I had nothing to do, so it wasn't uncommon, but I had never had a colouring book. I had only heard of them. I picked one of them and started colouring with alot of different pretty colours.

Ludwig didn't colour with me. He just watched. Didn't he want to colour with me?

He read one of the books, and even told me about things he usually does, as well as some interesting stories and encounters. He never mentioned school. I wondered if he was sick and didn't have to go?

I was very curious, and repeatedly asked him why he doesn't go to school, and why he kept changing the subject. He yelled at me and didn't talk to me after that. I was sad.

Night, Diary!

* * *

Dear Diary,

Today I said sorry to Ludwig. He said sorry too, but didn't explain. It's written in the books that friends do not keep secrets. He was keeping a secret from me.

I felt even sicker today. I didn't even get to get up and play with anything. I was, once again, on that bed. I hate that bed now. It keeps me warm and helps me sleep, but all I've been doing recently is sleep.

Ludwig's dad came to visit me today, too. He was nice, but was looking at me with pity. I don't like it when people look at me like that. I fell down from the bed when trying to get up. That hurt.

I'm going to sleep now. Bye, Diary.

* * *

Dear Diary,

I felt better today. I asked Ludwig if we are friends. He didn't say anything. He cried. When I asked him why, he just left the room. It made me really sad. I don't like making people cry.

Did that mean he was not my friend? That thought made me even sadder. Was it all for nothing? Was friendship supposed to be like that? Secrets, tears and silence? No. The books said happiness. Adventure. Laughter. Talk. Support.

I was angry. When he came back with the lunch, I yelled at him and told him he's not my friend, and that all he did was keep secrets from me, just like everyone else. He didn't say anything. He left the food on the table and walked out again. I felt really bad.

He didn't come back after that. That was my fault. But how do I apologize to someone that I can't meet? I cried. I felt sick again. I felt really guilty so I started screaming and yelling, hoping he would hear me and come back. I must have lost my only friend. His mom came and calmed me down, then went looking for him.

She found him and started talking with him about something. I couldn't hear it. They were outside, and I could see them through the window. They brought him inside.

When I faced him, I walked over to him and hugged him. I started crying and apologizing repeatedly. He hugged me back and apologized too. Despite everything, we will always be friends, and that will never change.

My parents changed the subject, but his parents finally told me. He was home schooled, which was the reason he didn't go to school. One thing clear. His mom felt sorry for me and took him to help her, hoping that we'd get along and such. I had told her once that I wished I had a friend.

Two things clear. I can't believe I didn't realize this sooner.

What a long and tiring day!Good night!

* * *

Dear Diary,

It's been several weeks after that. I do not feel any better. The doctors came and discussed some things with my parents. They were all very sad. I heard everything. They don't know I did.

It was raining. I hate it when it rains. Not that I don't like the rain!I love it! But it's a reminder that I just can't go out.

I asked Ludwig to take me out. I had asked my parents this so many times I lost count. He said no, but I assured him it would be just for a little while.

Was it too much to ask for?

He finally agreed. When everyone left, including his mom, he helped me walk as we left the house, because even that was hard for me now. I didn't care anyways.

One could not describe the rain being magical. I could. I was very happy when I felt it. It's like the water of life. I suddenly felt free. Not healthier, but free. I started skipping around and spinning. Ludwig told me to be careful.

I slipped. Someone was screaming. Must have been Ludwig. I went to sleep after that.

When I woke up, I heard yelling, but once they found out I was awake, they all started crying and asking me questions. I didn't feel like answering their questions, so I pretended I was falling asleep. I actually did fall asleep. They didn't ask me any questions after that. But I was in a hospital bed. This was even worse.

Night, Diary. Thank you for listening.

* * *

Dear Diary,

I feel really tired. I can't get off my bed like always. Ludwig didn't come to visit me today. When I asked the nurses why, they told me they don't know. One of them was alot nicer. She stayed with me, read stories to me, helped me get to the bathroom, and played dolls with me. But she had to go, so that made me sad. I didn't see my parents either.

The food was terrible. I want Ludwig to make me food. His dad came a bit later and talked to me. He said Ludwig won't be coming to visit me. I cried. I wish I could do something else, not only cry and sleep. I really wanted to see him again, and I told everyone that I was the one that insisted that he takes me out. They just sighed and told me not to do it again. But didn't tell me if he was coming.

Good night, Diary. I'm tired, I can't write anymore.

* * *

Dear Diary,

My sister actually came and talked to me. She was really kind. She said sorry for not coming to visit me, and I said it's alright and tried to hug her. She just stepped back, and I wouldn't be able to do so anyway.

I asked her if she can stay with me longer, and she just frowned and actually hugged me. She started whispering things that I couldn't really hear, though I did catch some words. 'Goodbye'? Was she moving out? That means I would not be able to see her. I'm even sadder, because there's almost no one that wants to see me anymore. Except that nurse. She tells me it's all gonna be alright. Repeatedly. I wonder why she says that?

I heard the doctors talk. It was about me, but I couldn't really make out what they're saying. I felt extremely sleepy, and I fell asleep almost instantly again.

I have been writing less and less with the days. Good night!

* * *

Dear Diary,

Ludwig came to see me today!

He was sad as everyone else. He didn't talk to me, but just sat and held my hand. His hand is warm. Mine isn't, and I don't know why. I tried to ask him questions, but he didn't respond and cried. I found myself unable to actually speak to him after a while.

Then some people came and picked me up. I realised I couldn't move, either, and why sister said goodbye. It wasn't her that was moving out, it was me.

I'm going to a better place now, right? I was getting better, right? And everyone was going to be around me, even Ludwig! And I was going to grow up and marry him, right? Why is everyone crying? Maybe they're just very happy to see me get better! That must be it.

...It's dark. I better stop. When I wake up, I'm gonna go out and play with Ludwig. Bye for now!


End file.
